Since I started my dedication on day 2, that means I had to blog twice in one day.
While everyone has their days of complaining about this or that when it comes to their job, I can honestly say I am truly thankful for my job. I am a high school English teacher. Now you are either thinking, "oh how fun!" or "ugh, I hate English and I hated English in school!" or "how do you deal with high schoolers?!"
These are the usual responses I hear when I tell people what I do and they are all warranted. I have felt all of these sentiments at one time or another, but at the end of the day I do love working with my students.
When I went into teaching, I felt inspired. I dabbled in a few majors in college, but eventually God guided me to where I ended up (even though my mother had been pushing me toward it from the get-go, don't you hate when they're right?! haha. Love you Mom.) My parents joke now that they weren't sure if I was ever going to make it out of college, because I just seemed to float major to major. I was just waiting to find something that I felt passionate about!
My first experience in the classroom was so great! It was really challenging and exhausting, but when I went home at the end of the day I felt inspired. I didn't dread going back, even on the days I had to break up a fist fight or on the day that a student blatantly answered his cell phone claiming it was his army recruiter (which was false by the way). I was determined to make an influence.
After my undergraduate, I went straight to my master's and everyone told me how hard it would be to find a job. It is nothing short of a complete blessing that I did!
Fast forward to five years later, I still am so thankful for this wondeful blessing. In an economy where jobs are so hard to come by, I am blessed to have one that gives me purpose.
Which brings me to today. Today I was teaching about Transcendentalism. Out of nowhere one of my students asks me, "What's your motivation?"
Now, it's not completely out of the ordinary for a high school student to blurt an unrelated question out of nowhere and normally I would redirect to the topic at hand, but this was one that I wanted to share. I want my students to know that I really do care and I really do want to be there, with them, teaching them, and maybe-just maybe- influencing or inspiring them to think or act in a positive way that will affect their growth and/or learning.
So I said, "Well, I have many motivations. For what specifically are you asking?"
The student replied, "What's your motivation for teaching?"
Another student chirps in, "Yeah, why do you do it? Are you someone who actually likes doing this?"
Their amazement that someone could want to teach gave me a little giggle, but then I quickly responded, "I really do enjoy working with you guys. I'm not here for the money, I'm here because I hope that I can at some point teach, influence or inspire you guys in your education or as a person. I want to invest in you guys, because you all deserve it. I see so much potential in you guys and I want to help you make a difference."
Some of the students awed, because they genuinely appreciated my sincerity. Other students thanked me and said, "You inspire me Mrs. Davies." However, the timing of their compliment thinks they could have possibly been searching for brownie points, lol.
Then I think I felt a little embarrassed, because I wanted to say so much more. What I can't say in a public school explicitly is that I feel called by God to pray for my students and be a positive, loving, God-fearing example for these young people. I wanted to share that I strive to encourage them to live life courageously, by setting a positive example in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity just like Paul encouraged Timothy in the letters he wrote to him. I want to encourage them to live a life that matters, to make a positive difference in this world! This is actually a new attitude that God has made clear to me recently. My job is my mission field and I need to live my life on mission. Thank you God for putting my job in perspective!
So after having a few minutes of being able to ponder and kick myself for not saying all the things I wish I would have said, I said to the student, "You know what really motivates me in a more general all encompassing sense? I want to live my life with purpose. I don't want to live aimlessly, I want to live a life that matters with purpose. I don't want to waste a single moment doing things or spending time on things that don't matter or that don't lead to things that fulfill my purpose."
I realize that this was a vague moment, but it was my way of saying that what I do with them is me living out my purpose. The reassuring head nods leads me to believe that maybe, just maybe this little heartfelt notion inspired just one of these students...God willing.
Thank you God for my job and for students who challenge me to grow, learn, and inspire me daily!
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